Scan Magazine

By Mette Lisby

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Or is there something odd in our attitude towards the economy?

I get that the financial situation is tough, but for some reason we keep referring to the economy as if it was a person. A human in its own right – and, may I say, not a very stable one. Usually this honour of “humanization” is strictly reserved for animals who have had their own Disney-show, but somehow The Economy managed to wedge itself in there with Willy, Lassie and Bambi.

The markets get “depressed”, the FTSE is “overreacting” and stock prices are “overheated”. Stock prices “overheated”! That’s something the teacher might say when you pick up your 3-year old daughter from Kindergarten. “She was a bit overheated around lunch. Someone stole her tricycle.” Markets get “depressed”. Oh dear. Maybe the markets would like to lie down before dinner? And you can just hear the FTSE “overreacting”, like a self-absorbed teenage girl: “Of course I’m depressed! NO ONE has any confidence in me anymore!”

On top of this, financial markets are always referred to with a special deference. Voices go respectfully to a lower tone, foreheads wrinkle up, even at the slightest mention of The Economy. As if The Economy was some kind of mysterious, supernatural enigma.

We are skeptical towards religions, spirituality, and the mere thought of any kind of God or all-encompassing power, but “The Economy” and the stock markets – which are created by and controlled by none other than … ourselves – are constantly subject to a respect and humility that usually applies to forces of Nature. Like Tornadoes, Tsunamis and Earthquakes, The Economy is considered unpredictable, almighty, fierce and we humans merely pawns at its mercy. Except Tornadoes, Tsunamis and Earthquakes ARE forces of Nature whereas The Economy is just a manmade Drama-queen – apparently in need of stimulus. Wouldn’t that count as Viagra for the Economy? Because that would make it a different kind of Queen.

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Mette Lisby is Denmark’s leading female comedian. She invites you to laugh along with her monthly humour columns. Since her stand-up debut in 1992, Mette has hosted the Danish versions of “Have I Got News For You” and “Room 101”.