Tue, Sep 8, 2009
Who, having spent way too much time in airports this summer, has detected a decline in respect for the British National Sport, queuing?
Well, let me just briefly outline the rules. Yes, there are rules. It isn’t enough just to stand there and simply wait until it’s your turn. What are we? Animals?
Joining a queue requires commitment.
You must therefore ask yourself: Am I ready for the queue? Is my heart in it? Can I go all the way?
This is because you cannot suddenly go to the bathroom, or buy a magazine or embark on similarly audacious quests which will lead to the dramatic outcome of having to leave the queue. You can’t. The queue will know you’re a quitter who can’t be trusted. If fellow queue members later see you on the plane, seated by the emergency exit, they might tell authorized personnel that you are in no way suited for this kind of responsibility.
Second, when queuing, the Boy Scout’s motto “Be prepared” applies at all times.
You must ALWAYS keep an eye on the queue ahead of you, because you can’t EVER let the queue move without INTSTANTY moving with it. Otherwise the people behind you will feel deeply betrayed, and slowly lose hope. Do you really want to be the one who killed the hope of the queue?
I didn’t think so.
Be aware that engaging in hazardous activities such as talking or texting on your mobile, is frowned upon by fellow queue-members; it makes you lose focus.
Last but not least, you must prepare yourself for the mental change that will occur. Upon joining, you will notice that you immediately start to suspect everybody else of wanting to get ahead in your queue. This is only natural. That’s the way other people are.
You therefore have to watch over whoever darts about in the periphery of the queue. Don’t hesitate to look angry, even mean and unwelcoming. That’s the only thing these potentially cheating bastards respect.
Those are the rules. They need to be protected.
God save the Queue.